Start as You Mean to Go On


The Diary of Mr Kain

The second day of the year and Beard Face again managed to get up at 8.00 a.m. Frizzy Hair has set an alarm on his phone which prompts him to play through a game before he can turn it off. He’s always wide awake by the time it’s over. What a dunce! It’s really funny watching him gritting his teeth, pulling his hair out and even crying. I didn’t realise noughts and crosses was so difficult.

Elsewhere, it’s apparently January gloom for millions of people going back to work today. Stretched out on the bed I tried to imagine just how down they must feel but I was too tired so settled for a nap instead. So sue me. I’m a cat. I’m not some philosopher from Ancient Greece though I imagine if I had been the world would be a lot better off for it. There wouldn’t be vets for a start.

Frizzy Hair and Beard Face haven’t declared any New Year Resolutions as such but I did notice Beard Face has started listening to audio books. He set the Kindle up this evening and this woman’s voice suddenly sounded. It had a strange effect on the others. Buggles thought the fairies had come back, while Charlie enlisted Razz to search the house high and low for the source. He was convinced it was radio communications from the Human Resistance and that they must have his bunker under surveillance. I didn’t correct him, of course. A cat needs some fun in this gloomy January.

Mr Kain

Just an elegant cat, slightly bored with the world, living with my owners (Beard Face and Frizzy Hair) and five feline brothers (Razz, Charlie, Buggles, Bilbo and Frodo). Give me strength!

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