The Bleaklisted Movies: When Harry Met Sally

B-Lines and Felines - The Bleaklisted Movies
About The Bleaklisted Movies

The Bleaklisted MoviesMany moons ago a despotic cat named Charlie decided that he wanted to be a book critic. It would fit so nicely with his existing roles as food critic, dog critic and owner critic. Thus The Bleaklisted Books was born.

After fifty books Charlie ran out of the limited ideas and inspiration he had and turned his attention to the world of films. We apologise but this dictatorial little beast will not be contained.

Read at your risk… (And beware… SPOILERS!)

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

What happens?

Harry and Sally first meet and share a drive. They keep meeting over many years, staying friends but in the end they get together. Pass the sick bag please. This one is worse than Sheepless in Sea Cattle.

Reason for bleaklisting?

Orgasms at a dinner table. Must have been one hell of a salad!

What should have happened?When Harry Met Sally

Harry and Sally first meet when leaving university. They share a drive where Harry wields a gun and shoots at mailboxes along the way. One of his shots ricochets off one mailbox and hits Sally in the forehead. Harry was firing blanks but Sally has one hell of a bruise on her head the next day. Over the years Harry and Sally keep meeting and each time Harry keeps firing his gun and every time a bullet bounces off something and hits Sally. Over time Sally is hit on the ear, shoulder, buttocks, mouth and even up the nose (through one nostril and out the other.) In the end they meet at a shooting range which has helped Harry focus his aim a little but Sally arrives wearing a suit of plate armour and a helm with a visor. They declare their undying love for one another and when they get married, Harry fires his gun again but this time the bullet ricochets into the air and takes out a space shuttle which leads to an elaborate firework display for Sally. Beautiful.

Working title?

When Harry Shot Sally.

Tagline?

Can men and women be friends or does a gun always get in the way.

Who should direct?

Quentin Tarantino.

Who should star?

Elijah Wood and Jennifer Lawrence.

Mr B compares the stories

Rob Reiner’s romantic comedy is a classic with Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan at their best. Offended by the simple friendship and then romance, Charlie has spiced things up a bit by turning Harry and Sally into a somewhat comical Bonnie and Clyde. Sally certainly sounds patient in the respect that every time she meets Harry he shoots her. Very strange. Frodo Baggins and Katniss Everdeen for the starring roles in this one? It’s not beyond the realms of possibility but unlikely at the moment as Elijah Wood and Jennifer Lawrence both have careers that are doing well.

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Dave Brown

I was born in Barnsley, South Yorkshire, England and have always been a bookworm and enjoyed creative writing at school. In 1999 I created the Elencheran Chronicles and have been writing ever since. My first novel, Fezariu's Epiphany, was published in May 2011. When not writing I'm a lover of films, games, books and blogging. I live in Barnsley, with my wife, Donna, and our six cats - Kain, Razz, Buggles, Charlie, Bilbo and Frodo.
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