Some conniving guy uses a ruffian to get hold of a magic lamp. Ruffian, who is in love with a princess, uses the lamp to better himself and maybe win the hand of his beloved. There’s some fighting, a genie and even a magic carpet. All of this happens without anyone smoking some happy stuff either.
Reason for bleaklisting?
The lack of a traffic control system for magic carpets. Someone could get hurt.
Some evil guy known as Jam Jar is hoping to usurp the King of At the Bar and seeks a magical item known as Jim. Jam Jar enlists the help of a local lad known as Kenneth who is so poor he wears short trousers and a pink cardigan. Kenneth finds Jim in the Cave of Bonkers and discovers it is actually a bottle of Jim Beam from which the spirit of the Lizard King – a.k.a. Jim Morrison – emerges. Jim offers Kenneth three wishes but says he is exempt from asking for alcohol, drugs, women or a rendition of Light My Fire. Kenneth and Jim buddy up to take on Jam Jar. There’s an epic battle in the desert involving go-karts, Kenneth pursues the lovely princess, Janet, who turns out to be a drag queen, and ultimately Jam Jar is defeated when Jim provides a moving rendition of Whiskey Bar. In the tearful conclusion Kenneth offers to release Jim from the Jim Beam bottle but he politely declines, content with his memory as a rock god and poet. Only after this emotional parting of ways does Kenneth realise he didn’t use any of his wishes, not even to get some proper trousers. Idiot.
A Lad in Short Trousers.
The story of one boy, one pair of short trousers and a genie in a Jim Beam bottle.
Who should direct?
Who should star?
Or provide the voices in this case. Ewan McGregor, Val Kilmer, John C. McGinley and Thora Birch.
Mr B compares the stories
I never would have expected anyone to link Aladdin to Jim Morrison but what do I know? In the world of Charlie anything goes and it’s seldom pretty. While The Doors’ legendary frontman is always a welcome addition to everyday conversation, I am a tad concerned about him being demeaned here, as a replacement for a genie no less. Anime legend, Hayao Miyazaki, could make an Aladdin movie without breaking sweat but as the maestro has deservedly retired I would urge you to stick with Disney’s 1992 version, especially for the fantastic voice work of the late great Robin Williams.
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